I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
