Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
