Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
