So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
