fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
