it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
