I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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