wat bout pragnant strippers??
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
