i permit you to call me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
