The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
