It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
