Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
