If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
