so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize