tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
