He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
