wanna go halves on a baby?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
