I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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