the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
