we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
