Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize