ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
