So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
