I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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