You really coming over, don't trick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
