Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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