Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
