I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
