You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
