we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
