Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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