I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize