So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
