awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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