why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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