My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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