I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
