so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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