Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
