The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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