She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
