one might say we're banned from that church
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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