She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
time to smoke my breakfast
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
