so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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