okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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