Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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