Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
