Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
