Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
