My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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