Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
