Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
