if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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