Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
