i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
