woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
