i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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