I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
