I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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