Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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