Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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