That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
