Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
