How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
