i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
