I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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