He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
